Here it is - the DIY guide to unattractive skin. If you want people to avoid or maybe you are looking to join the circus - just follow these steps!
1.
Apply excessive makeup often! Go for the caked-on look. Pile it on deep, at least an inch of foundation and blush. Then save time and energy by wearing it to bed. This will save you money also, just put on another layer in the morning. Also, don't forget the eye shadow - you can never wear too much!
2.
Make the tanning bed your best friend. If you are not aging fast enough, here is a sure way to speed that up. Don't be a sissy and lay out in the sun. Speed up the wrinkles and go to a tanning bed as often as possible. After all, leather looks good on everyone.
3.
Avoid sunscreen, it is your enemy. Just forgetting your sunscreen once in a while isn't enough. Go outside for hours get really nice and dark. The best time of day for this between 10:00 am and 2:00 pm when the sun is at it's strongest. Of course, you can skip this step if you are following tip number 2.
4.
Pick, squeeze and scratch every zit, blackhead and cysts! Don't worry about washing your hands first-dirty fingernails are no longer your skin's enemy. Pop and pick at every blemish you see, make sure you dig in deep to create lasting scars.
5.
Eat only Junk Food. What you put in your body reflects on your skin. By chowing down excessively on anything greasy, sweet or particularly fattening, you can turn normal, clear skin into an eruption of blemishes with excessive oil.
6.
Sleep is unnecessary, Go for the baggy eye look with a sagging, droopy expression! Live on caffeine and develop a love for surfing the net or video games. That way you won't have to leave the house when your skin looks totally lousy!
7.
Start smoking. Smoke all the time, go for 2 or 3 packs a day. This will help you lose your soft, supple skin and turn it into a thick leather look within a few years.
8.
Bottoms Up! If the above tips aren't making you ugly fast enough, turn to alcohol. Drink all the time, this will dehydrate your skin fast, giving you the wrinkled prune look.
9.
Stop washing your face. Embrace the dirt, dead skin cells and bacteria that accumulate naturally on your face everyday. You skin ages twice as fast when you don't wash it, so speed up that aging process by avoiding your 3-Step Process.
10.
Scrub Hard, if you do wash. You will need to scrub extra hard if you have followed the above steps. Use a harsh wash cloth (maybe even steel wool) to really tug and push your skin, The more you stretch and pull it, the sooner it will lose all it shape and just hang loosely.
Good Work! You have managed to ruin your skin for life and are officially ugly!
Now if you are ready to have youthful, attractive skin again -
